Blessed Is Woman

Blessed is woman 

Who gives birth to her dreams

Blessed is woman 

Who gives birth to her visions 

Blessed is woman 

Who gives birth to her children 

Blessed is woman

Who gives birth to herself 

Blessed is woman 

Who births the world 

Amen 

Freedom

Let's talk Passover, shall we? 

When you have been living for so long within a certain system of beliefs, change and growth can be, well, a seemingly insurmountable challenge. Similar to say, coming out of slavery after hundreds of years. 

These things that enslave us, metaphorically speaking, they can be stuck, lodged, in our bodies, both physical and energetic. Sometimes they are manifestations of choices or agreements we have made in present time or our current lives but more than likely they are connected to or have come to us from generations, lifetimes ago. These stories have been written in our books, tattooed on our psyches, engraved in our hearts, stored in our souls, tethered to our ankles or wrists. They truly bind us. 

They terrorize us. 

They stop us. 

They blind us. 

But, they are not us. 

And that acknowledgement is a step towards the journey to freedom. 

Right now is a tremendous time on so many levels and in so many ways, no matter what your religion or spiritual conviction, no matter who you are, to create CHANGE. To let go of that which is no longer serving you and move into, rather, dive head first into the life you are craving to create. The life you must live. The life you were made to have. Your Offering. 

So where are you on your journey to Freedom? 

Maybe right now you are in Pharaoh consciousness. From where you sit, the world looks as it should. You've got it "under control". Yet, you live your life instilling fear in everyone around you, including yourself. This is how I've been taught, this is how it's always been done, you tell yourself. Yet you hear the voices calling to you, there is another way, they say. You are not ready to listen, not yet. 

Or maybe right now you are in Israelite consciousness. You know there can be a different life, you know there is something more. You can see yourself in this new life, you can taste it, you can feel it, you want your children to live this way, but you feel powerless to change the circumstances surrounding you. So you keep going, waiting for the day your prayers will be answered. You work hard, you do your best, but you feel the heavy weight of what is missing in your life. You continue to practice faith, practice prayer, and hold on tight to your community. You are ready for the next step. 

Or maybe right now you are in Moses consciousness. A bit timid, maybe, but certainly humble and proud. You recognize your fears, you hear your self doubt, at times you are unsure of what move to make. But you are filled with faith, with strength. You are grounded in your conviction. You know the voice that will prevail is the still small voice inside of you, echoing your most sacred heart. So you make your move and find courage to step out into the unknown, listening to your guides, and doing what you are called to do. You are ready. 

No matter what space you are in, no matter where you are currently sitting, there is more awaiting you. More surprises, more opportunities, more miracles. All for your highest good. 

What we know from our wise Passover story is that ahead there may be doubt, frustration, fear of failure, desire to give up, to retreat. There may be tests, agreements we create to push ourselves to become more. There may quite possibly be an entire (metaphoric) sea to cross. There may be endless days and nights of searching. And certainly there will be time to ponder, to pray, to cry, to learn, to yearn, and finally to enter a new territory. 

But you know what I'm wondering? What if in these changing times there is a new story to write, about moving away from that which bonds us? 

What if with all the shifts happening and all the resources available to each one of us, this challenging journey wouldn't have to last for 40 years, or forty lifetimes or even 40 days? 

What if while we are wandering into our hearts and our souls, seeking to free ourselves, our hands could simply hold into the light the aspects of ourselves which have sat in darkness and in shadow and we could merely ask for the blessing of Freedom and it would just Be? Another sort of offering, perhaps? 

What if with the power of our Self-Love and the power of Grace we could transform those old stories and watch them shift in our bodies, releasing from our space? 

What if while we sit in meditation, or by a lake, or with our loved ones, or on a mountaintop, or in the bath, or with our therapist, or anywhere we feel safe, we could continue to let go of, to surrender those engravings, those tattoos, those shackles, to the One to Spirit to Love? 

What if while observing those old pictures gently but eagerly ooze our of our being, we could sit and breathe new life into our cells? And what if by doing so those past triggers won't unlock the same doors, the same responses? The keys simply won't work anymore, there will be new pathways emerging, the keys will open a new door. One that is molded the way of our conscious choosing. 

Then maybe we can begin to write a new book for ourselves about Presence and Patience and Certainty and Gratitude and what it means to Thrive In Joy. 

Now that sounds like a promised land to me. 

Amen.  

WORRY

I wrote this post over a year ago when I set up this blog and then put it all on hold. I was inspired recently to get back here and re-read this first post. I am publishing it now, and will continue. I promise...

I have been a devout worrier all my life, or at least as long as I can remember. Ask anyone who knows me well, I take worrying to new levels. It sounds funny to write or to say, but really it's terribly sad. And I have spent many hours sitting in such a worry space that I am totally consumed and paralyzed by it.

Over the years I have learned many ways to free myself from worrying. Amongst them, exercising, being outside in nature, breath work, meditation, yoga, dance, talk therapy, EMDR, brainspotting, the list goes on and on. And is not in any kind of order. Did any of these work? Yes, they all worked. For a period of time, for a period of my life and then something inevitably shifted and allowed a new incarnation of worry to invade the new space I had created. I will say without a doubt that meditation and energy work has been the biggest change agent in my life. But all the work I did prior to being open to starting on that path was integral in getting to that place as well. So there is a great deal of value in all of it. And I honor all the choices I have made to try and heal. 

However, the greatest motivation I have for healing came in the form of an amazing being who I brought into the world...my daughter. Her name is Hebrew and it means "my light." My husband and I named her that because we knew that she truly was our light, guiding us, illuminating our lives. And she has now become my guru, my teacher, my wise one, the leader who guides me on my next paths to healing. With each step I take in motherhood, I feel a shift, I watch as the maiden in me slowly fades away, and along with her many of the worries and fears of that consciousness. With each decision I must make on my daughter's behalf, with each new day with it's challenges and miracles, I am in a constant state of healing, of growth, of becoming. As I am fully present in BEING with her, I am fully present BEING with me. And together we are creating a world that will be able to encompass all the havingness, gratitude, peace, ease, joy, love, and manifesting energy that we can possibly handle.

So the other day, in the middle of diaper changes and "please will you try to go down for a nap", I had a revelation about worry energy. I saw clearly that worry energy comes from a place of non trust. When you worry, you are not trusting life, not trusting G-d, not trusting oneself, or divine freedom or choice. Worry is at it's core a basic mistrust of LIFE. As this revelation came to me I actually thought, well ya, of course, Heather, you know that. BUT, the kicker is, I didn't really GET it, you know? It's like the difference between saying something and really knowing it. The difference between believing something and really living it. I clearly wasn't really getting it, knowing it or living it. Well, shit. Fine then, where do I go from here? Actually there's more.

The next piece that came to me was that when we worry about our loved ones we create doubt energy and put it into that person's space. The message sent to them is that somehow we believe them to be incapable. Maybe we are just concerned for their well being because we love them so much. We think we are helping, right? But loving someone is not synonymous with worrying about them. (Read the last sentence again, it's a good one.) In fact, it may be the exact opposite. While loving someone builds them up, allows them to be seen, creates light and infinite gratitude in their space, worry puts doubt, mistrust, fear in their space and breaks them down. Why would we want to send this message to those we love? That we think they can't handle their choices or their existence? Maybe this is easier to accept (and try to change) when we are talking about our partners/spouses or family and friends. But what about our children or even our babies, who aren't quite "capable" in the world's eyes of doing much? I mean, babies are still learning to eat, to sit up, to crawl around, to make sounds, that kind of thing. As spirits though, our babies or our children are completely capable beings, just as any adult is, they are just in a different part of the journey and of course need our help much much more than they will when they get older. Does that mean it's our responsibility to take away their ability and to overwhelm with our realities and tendencies, asking them to go about their lives the way we would? I don't think so and more on this in future posts for sure because I don't actually want to raise a mini-me. And here is what I figured out. There is a difference between concern energy and worry energy. There is a difference between being attentive and attune to their needs and what is happening in their lives and constantly worrying about them. What we need to do as parents is to be present for them, to bear witness to their greatness. That allows us to be aware of when we need to act, to respond, to guide. Worrying actually takes us out of the present moment and connects us to the past, to our fears, past realities and other times when our information was different than it is now.

My new stance of consciousness is about learning to mother with all of who I am, in present time, with my highest information. Who wants to raise a child that is full of doubt? Doubt of themselves, doubting faith? I do NOT! This I know for sure. What I am less sure of is how to go about doing this. Because since I've had this revelation I have catapulted myself into a huge growth period, fears abounding. I am releasing and letting go - even as I write. I know the ways I want to mother. I know the powerful intention my daughter and I have about living fully and freely with love and peace and ease and harmony. So I will keep going, moment by moment, guided by my truth and my information. What I do know is that the more faith I can have, the more she will have. 
So I will start with me. 
Amen.